No one can provide for you except yourself

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." -Ralph Waldo Emesrson

Ever since we were kids, we were taught to become increasingly self-reliant (...well...most of us anyway). We learned to go potty, tie our own shoes and many other things that for some reason I'm convinced some adults haven't learned properly ;)

Since childhood, we have come so far in our lives. We are able to do things that we couldn't possibly do by ourselves as kids. And you know what? It's exhilirating. As we grew up, our freedoms increased. Why? Because we became more self-reliant. Imagine if you always had to rely on others for even just the basics in life? You'd be a slave to your own inability.

We learn so much and have such a determination to be a unique individual...but why do most of us stop? How come most people have not learned how to provide for themselves without relying on someone else to cut them a pay check? Have our bosses become our new parents?

It is one thing to serve another in order to learn and grow. It is quite another when you serve in order to live.

It's true, you cannot become a great leader until you know what it is to serve another. Unless you apply that knowledge, however, you will become a slave. Just as you gained greater independence from your parents, now you must gain independence from your bosses. Just like most things in this life, self-reliance is earned, not given.

Great leaders are not superhuman. They are people, just like you and me. The only difference between a servant and a leader is that a leader empowers him/herself through action and the application of knowledge. No one has a "master plan" where victory is assured. Leaders are just as uncertain as everyone else. Like anything in life, sometimes you just have to take that leap of faith and hope for the best. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

One key lesson people MUST learn is that in business, nothing is personal. Your boss might be a great person, but don't forget: you're there because you're useful to your boss. You do not owe any further loyalty to your boss beyond doing your job well...nor does your boss owe you any further loyalty than rightfully compensating you for your work.

Adversity is a true test of one's character. I've witnessed and heard many stores of offices where everyone got along like a family. When tough times hit, all loyalty jumped out the window. One story was a boss who jumped ship to another company and left a bunch of good people in the lurch despite having a personal rapport with them. Rather than feeling a sense of loyalty to his employees and trying his hardest to keep the ship afloat and going down with it if necessary (like any true Captain would), he jumped ship. He took a handful of the most senior people who he saw as the most useful to him and left the rest to fend for themselves. Oh well, nothing personal, right?

Think that's pretty bad? Take a recent example in the news. Frank Scudere, a lawyer who survived the Hudson River plane crash, was let go from his job. Even though he almost died trying to do his job, he still got canned. His performance reviews were all very good. He was the model employee by many respects. The day he got laid off, his medical benefits were immediately cut off and was told he had three hours to leave the law firm's offices before security escorts him out. Of course, the business had to lay off people to cut costs. That is understandable. However, notice that even though he was a great guy, ultimately, it didn't mean anything. In fact, he was almost treated like a trespasser on the day of his lay off.

If you think that someone else is going to make you rich or successful, you are WRONG. Only YOU can make you successful. Only YOU can make you happy.

People want you to work for them because you are useful, not because they like you. While it's nice if your boss is taking you wherever he goes, it is in fact a curse. You are destined to be his servant, limited in your freedoms and exposure. Imagine if you worked for someone for most of your life, and then that person leaves? What then? It's just like the child who never learned how to tie his shoes. The child is at the mercy of others. When you rely on the mercy or provisions of others, you are not free, you are a dependent.

Don't stop learning. Your quest for self-reliance is not over. Until you can live a life where your destiny and well-being is entirely driven by you, you will never live the life you always wanted. You will look back, and instead of remembering the triumphant victories of your own efforts, you will remember the time your master gave you a pat on the back when you were forced to miss your child's birthday.

To wrap up, I want to leave you with a poem from Saxon White Kessinger called "Feeling Important?"

Sometimes when you're feeling important,
Sometimes when your ego's in bloom,
Sometime when you take it for granted,
You're the best qualified in the room;
Sometimes when you feel that your going
Would leave an unfillable hole,
Just follow these simple instructions
And see how they humble your soul.

Take a bucket and fill it with water
Put your hand in it up to the wrist,
Pull it out, and the hole that's remaining
Is the measure of how you'll be missed.
You can splash all you want when you enter,
You may stir up the water galore;
But stop, and you'll find that in no time
It looks quite the same as before.
The moral in this quaint example
Is to do just the best that you can;
Be proud of yourself, but remember
There's no indispensable man.